My daughter, Luna, is turning 2 in 1 month. I decided that we should have a birthday party - with other kids and their parents - in the park, and started planning a couple of weeks ago.Now I know a 2 year old doesn't really *need* a party, that she probably wouldn't even know it was her birthday if we didn't mention it. And I know there's a cliche of already-tired parents wearing themselves out planning giant fetes that cost more than a small island country. I know all the things you're thinking, right now.
But the party isn't really *for* her, exactly, is it? It's for her dad and I, really...so we can, just this once, be surrounded by friends who know what it's about. People who will also have to chase their toddler around and pick up dropped food and wipe snotty noses and never ever have a complete conversation ever again. I feel that in this sort of modified party setting I can really shine. Ok, sort of shimmer, at best. But the point is, I expect I'll be comfortable and feel less lame if everyone else @ the party has a tiny master or two that they obey, like I do.
I like parties. I like fun. Shocking, I know. And I like the idea of feeling, just this once, that I'm part of the majority in my friend-group, one of *many* parents, not the one parent among all the cool people. I love hanging out with my non-childed friends, but when I'm with them, after a while, I feel nostalgic for the freedom and simplicity of pre-baby life. Too many lunches cut short by tantrums or no-naps and I start to feel like an alien among my peers. It's good to be around other parents sometimes, to escape that feeling of Utter Uncoolness.
Playdates are the same, now that I'm finally coming to understand what they're really for. Within the context of the playdate itself, I don't feel like I miss being the fun pre-parent Holly. I don't compare the 'fun' I'm having with past Times of Awesome (tm) - because (and this tenuous messed-up pseudo-logic really does help me) Pre-parent Holly never WENT on playdates. So she doesn't exist in this playdate dimension. So I can't compare myself to her. So I don't.
So I will collect my friends-in-the-same-boat and we will chase our children around and frolic in their cuteness and panic about their safety and (if we're lucky) manage to eat a tiny burger or two, ourselves. It's gonna be great. I'm just going to admit this, shall I? I'm throwing *myself* a kiddy art & pirates party for Luna's 2 yr birthday. ;)
"not the one parent among all the cool people."
ReplyDeleteI had my son back in 1997.
How many of my peers "got it" in the next ten years?
You know, while they were in university, partying, traveling, staying up late and drinking, leaving their spotless homes in under 20 minutes with empty hands. . .
Basically, a big "I hear you" from here.