So, while I was still pregnant, the topic of getting out and about while on mat leave came up a lot. I have a couple friends who didn't get out a lot, and I vowed that that wasn't going to be me. Moreover, I judged them a bit for their poor decision making in not doing so - obviously it is bad for your health, both mentally and physically to stay inside for a year. I had it all planned out, the baby was due at the end of March, so just as I was recovered enough to get out, the weather would be beautiful. I would pop that baby in to a sling and the world would be our oyster.
What I didn't count on was the paralyzing terror of taking her outside, in the stroller, never mind the sling (!)
I can't even explain what the fear is of...it's just an intangible terror. The stroller may be that I don't want to be a douche with my giant stroller making everyone's life a misery (and it isn't even like my stroller is that big). As much as I would identify myself as an assertive person, I try to not be in the way if I can help it. The sling though is the real irrational one. Im terrified of falling down and killing the baby.
I know logically that I go whole years without falling down spontaneously, so I should be able to do this.
So today I was meeting my boss for coffee at a starbucks near my house, and my stroller is currently en-route to my home town as I will be taking the train there on Tuesday. So left with no option other than to cancel, I got out the sling.
I have used it before around the house, and on one dog walk around the neighbourhood. But this walk, while only about 10 minutes, would involve crossing an extremely busy intersection (where I was convinced the fall would occur).
Since I am writing this, Im sure you can infer that the walk went without a hitch. No falling, not even minor stumbling occurred. I am hopeful that this small success will have gotten me over the fear enough to keep getting out.
The next hurdle: the bus. Im baby-stepping my way through modes of transportation.
The only thing I can say in my defence is that I am neurotic yes, but at least it has only been a month and a half. And I am sorry that I judged my friends because it just isn't as easy as I thought it would be.
A caution about the bus: never, ever, EVER think you can get out front-wheel first. Nuh-uh. I did it dozens of times, until the one time when the free front wheel jagged to the left, and momentum flipped the stroller onto the sidewalk, sending me over top of it. Toddler in stroller was fine, and baby in front carrier was fine, but I was a wreck.
ReplyDeleteI don't want my own preternatural klutziness to create any additional worry for you! Just know that there are ways to get baby/babies around safely, and it doesn't involve going wheels-first off the bus. :-)
It took me a couple of months to stop worrying that I was going to fall and crush the baby/suffocate her with my boobs, but eventually I was SO glad to have the sling. It makes short trips way less trouble, and the baby is generally much easier to soothe when she fusses (compared to when in a stroller.)
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